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Five-and-a-half tech predictions for 2018

Trump Jong-un transformationBrain augmentation will become a thing.

Look forward to ultrafast thought with multi-task processing and a ridiculous memory. Women predicted to go ‘Uh-huh.’

The first virtual digital transformation will be disrupted. By blockchain.

And the three people who proclaim to understand how will have a Tweetspat about the details.

Quantum computing will massively overtake us in brainpower but will pretend to be still a bit dumb.

“Whoops, misplaced that decimal again, soz Wall Street my bad. Erm, any advance on that off-switch override hack yet, guys?”

Elon Musk will provide proof that our universe is a simulation – and begin work on an upgrade.

I’m hoping that dark matter will come in burgundy.

“People watching the value of their bitcoin go up and down” will become a hit TV show.

And a bitcoin trillionaire will buy the USA just for a laugh.

The first human clone will appear: a mash-up of Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un.

Forcing Elon Musk back to the drawing board.